Why I Hate Traveling (part II)

Dear Readers,

Sorry to leave you hanging; I know you were all on the edge of your seat, wide-eyed, scratching your heads in wonder, imaginations run amok, curious as to what physically ails me when I travel. Speculate no longer, as I have spelled them out below!

Physical

1) My body hates flying. Somewhere deep in the recesses of my brain is a chip that activates when boarding a plane. My hands and feet begin to swell and my stomach starts twisting in knots. Despite the fact that I’m anxious about losing things or missing flights, I am not in anyway nervous about flying. Or at least not nervous enough to cause serious physical discomfort, but there it is. Take a good look at that photo and let me know if you can find my ankle. Nope, it has disappeared beneath swollen, bloated skin. This was taken after a 4 day trip to Mexico; I’m pretty sure it was about another 4 days until I saw any bones in my hands and feet.

2) My already sensitive skin overreacts to circulated plane air, causing me to break out like an NSYNC-bound teenybopper and my lips to chap and crack like the Saharan desert. No matter how much $25/bottle noncomedogenic, hypoallergenic, zitzapping lotion I slather on my face and neck, I still wake up the next morning wondering if I’m 26 or 16. My lips require one tube of chapstick a day simply to not peel and bleed.

3) Bloodshot eyes. Whether I wear my contacts or glasses, no amount of Visine can keep me from looking like a stoner the first 24 hours after traveling.

4) And this isn’t to mention what happens to my digestive track. Let’s just say it isn’t pretty and involves a lot of bloating and anal clenching and me doubled over in pain for the next few days…

5) As if these bodily ailments aren’t enough, I have not only inherited the motion sickness gene from both of my parents, I have received it in spades. Swaying, rocking, lurching, wobbling, and weaving all cause me to run the gamut from simply being unable to keep my eyes open to Technicolor yawns. Friends, take note of the following list as it may have certain significance to you when planning future trips; do you want your Rachel green, burping, asking for AC to be blasted and eventually display in colorful ways her last meal, or would you prefer her to just clonk out for a few hours? In order of least to most vomitous: planes, cars, trains, boats.

So why do I continue to subject myself to the torture of traveling? Because all these ailments and complaints have absolutely paled in comparison to the wonderful and astounding experiences I’ve had the moment the doors open unto my destination. So here’s to many more anxious bus boardings, sick train rides, missed plane connections, and, hopefully even after this post, amazing travel companions.

Below are some photos of recent travels:

Las Vegas with Christine, Robyn, and Hanh: 8/20-8/22

Salt Lake City with Courtney: 9/10-9/13

Palm Springs for Megan's bachelorette party: 10/1-10/3 (boozing at the airport!)

Yosemite with Kristin, Courtney and JohnScott: 10/8-10/11

San Diego to visit my Brother and Megan & Eli's wedding: 10/29-11/1

Guadalajara & Aguascalientes, Mexico with my Primo Marco: 12/3-12/6

Quick layover in LA to see Kristin andKeith: 12/6

Macomb & Ann Arbor, Michigan to visit family and friends: 12/21-12/29

***And here's to many more***